


chatroom of doom

by frankiesin



Series: discontinued works [5]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: M/M, chat fic, old fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-08
Updated: 2011-01-08
Packaged: 2019-10-09 23:36:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17414711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frankiesin/pseuds/frankiesin
Summary: Axel, Demyx, and friends have a chat room. Shenanigans ensue.(written in the AIM chatroom style)





	chatroom of doom

seasaltluver13: Axel… I like you.  
flamesofdoooom: :DDDDDDDDDD  
seasaltluver13: um… okay then.  
flamesofdoooom: I LOVE YOU ROXY!!!!!!  
seasaltluver13: *only slightly disturbed* That was totally something I'd say…  
flamesofdoooom: aw… I'm sorry roxy.   
seasaltluver13: uh, no problem… why are you calling me roxy, anyways???  
flamesofdoooom: cuz it's cute~! :3  
seasaltluver13: are you ok?  
flames of doooom: no, I'm GREAT!!!  
seasaltluver13: o.O  
flamesofdoooom: so, wanna go out?  
seasaltluver13: uh, yeah, as long as you aren't this weird in public…  
flamesofdoooom: anything for you, roxy…!  
seasaltluver13: AND STOP CALLING ME ROXY!!!  
flamesofdoooom: D:  
seasaltluver13: uh… nvm. call me whatever.  
flamesofdoooom: YAY  
seasaltluver13: anyways, gotta go. see you… tomorrow?  
flamesofdoooom: 7:30 @ your house.  
seasaltluver13: do you know where I live?  
flamesofdoooom: yes.  
seasaltluver13: how?  
flamesofdoooom: um… I've been following you home for the past three months…  
seasaltluver13: that's kind of creepy, but ok…  
flamesofdoooom: so it's on?  
seasaltluver13: yup. see ya!  
flamesofdoooom: <3 u rox.  
seasaltluver13: yeah, u too.  
  
flamesofdoooom: DEMYX GUESS WHAT!!!!  
davidbowieisgod:` roxas likes you and you two are going out on a date tomorrow @ 7:30.  
flamesofdoooom: o.o   
how do you know this?  
davidbowieisgod: you've been telling me your plans for the past three months.   
flamesofdoooom: really?   
davidbowieisgod: uh, yeah.   
and I thought I was obsessed with David Bowie.  
flamesofdoooom: demyx, my friend, I don't think you get my point.  
davidbowieisgod: and what IS your point, ax?  
flamesofdoooom: I am going on a date.  
tomorrow.  
with ROXAS.  
davidbowieisgod: yeah, I know.  
flamesofdoooom: ROXAS, DEMYX! this is like equivilent to david bowie asking if he can record one of your songs on his next album!  
davidbowieisgod: you didn't capitalize His name.  
flamesofdoooom: you didn't in your name-thingy either.  
davidbowieisgod: I should probably change that…  
flames of doooom: wait, you can change your name????  
davidbowieisgod: uh, yeah.  
flamesofdoooom: should I change my name to roxyluver?  
davidbowieisgod: -_-  
no.  
flamesofdoooom: I think I should.  
davidbowieisgod: I think you're a bit obsessed with roxas.  
flamesofdoooom: I can't help it! he's the cutest thing I've ever seen, and I am the sexiest guy to ever exist! we're meant to be!!!  
davidbowieisgod: once again, you are OBSESSED.  
flamesofdoooom: you say that like it's a bad thing… D:  
davidbowieisgod: um, that's cuz it is…  
flamesofdoooom: no it's not.  
davidbowieisgod: yeah it is, axel. TRUST ME.  
flamesofdoooom: that's not fair. you have the person you're obsessed with as your name, but I can't? D:  
davidbowieisgod: axel, Bowie-ism is a religion. therefore, it it is perfectly normal for David Bowie's name to be in mine.  
flamesofdoooom: should I make roxas-ism a religion?  
davidbowieisgod: no.  
flamesofdoooom: demyx, is it ok to have sex on the first date?  
davidbowieisgod: what do you think?  
flamesofdoooom: I think so. esp if the person you are fucking is an extremely HOT blonde named roxas.  
davidbowieisgod: once again: OBSESSED.  
flamesofdoooom: oh plz. if I was obsessed with roxas, I'd be stalking him.  
davidbowieisgod: and following him home for three months isn't stalking?  
flamesofdoooom: nooooooo~!  
davidbowieisgod: what's going to happen if roxas starts liking someone else?  
flamesofdoooom: hahaha. very funny dem.  
like anyone could compare to me.  
davidbowieisgod: roxas and namine are preeetty close… if you know what I mean.  
flamesofdoooom: namine has nothing on me.  
I'm waaaaay sexier, have more expirience, and I am more than willing to kick the ass of any bastard that tries to hurt my roxy.  
davidbowieisgod: I'll agree with you on the last one. I think marly's still recovering from the burns…  
you seriously need therapy of something…  
flamesofdoooom: do not.  
davidbowieisgod: axel, trust me. therapy would be good for you.  
flamesofdoooom: yeah, whatever. I've got to go get ready for my date with roxas.  
davidbowieisgod: axel that's tomorrow evening. aren't you a little early?  
flamesofdoooom: no. I need to get some condoms.  
davidbowieisgod: AXEL YOU ARE NOT GOING TO HAVE SEX ON THE FIRST DATE!!!  
flamesofdoooom: who's gonna stop me?  
davidbowieisgod: if you do I will have larxene castrate you with whatever she sees fit using.  
flamesofdoooom: ooh…  
what if I just don't tell you roxas and I had sex?  
davidbowieisgod: you will. I promise you that the second I log on after your date, you'll be online telling me every detail about you and roxas's date.  
flamesofdoooom: sex and roxas. roxas as my sex slave… yesss…!  
davidbowieisgod: oh my David Bowie…  
flamesofdoooom: anyway, I'm out. l8r.  
  
DavidBowieisgod: namine we need to talk.  
innocentartgirl: hm? what's up?  
DavidBowieisgod: axel and roxas are going on a date tomorrow.  
innocentartgirl: OMG really?!? that's soooo cute! they're PERFECT for each other!  
DavidBowieisgod: you do realize that axel has been following roxas home for the past three months, correct?  
innocentartgirl: yeah, and that axel has been following roxas around school, buying the exact same lunches as him, and sitting directly behind him during study hall.  
DavidBowieisgod: ok that's creepy…  
innocentartgirl: I think it's cute.  
DavidBowieisgod: I think that your name is a lie.  
innocentartgirl: but I am innocent. just because I love seeing gay guys together doesn't mean I can't be innocent.  
DavidBowieisgod: I beg to differ.  
innocentartgirl: so what do you think will happen on their date???  
DavidBowieisgod: I know what's going to happen on that date. axel's been telling me for the past three months.  
he's going to take roxas out to dinner at an italian place, and then the two of them are going to a concert that axel bought tickets for.  
guess how long ago he bought the tickets.  
innocentartgirl: uh… I don't know.   
three months.  
DavidBowieisgod: YES! axel is completely obsessed with roxas!   
innocentartgirl: this is sooo cute tho!  
DavidBowieisgod: I think you need therapy too….  
innocentartgirl: *sigh* demyx, hon, axel likes roxas a lot. don't worry so much about it…  
DavidBowieisgod: I guess. I'm just kind of disturbed at how stalkery axel has been… it kind of scares me.  
innocentartgirl: that's axel for you.   
it's getting late. bye demmy.  
DavidBowieisgod: laterz nam.  
  
roxasobsessed: DEMYX I'M GONNA FUCKING DIE!!!!  
DavidBowieisgod: hi axel. I like your new name.  
why are you going to die?  
roxasobsessed: I ran out of hair dye.  
DavidBowieisgod: HAH! I knew that your hair wasn't natural!  
why can't you go get the hair dye yourself?  
roxasobsessed: I have a date with roxas in one hour, I just finished my shower, I haven't blow-dryed my hair, and I still need to gel it into spikes.  
and that alone usually takes an hour! I need more dye!!!  
DavidBowieisgod: wait, the spikes aren't natural either?  
axel, you sound like a thirteen year old girl getting ready for her first date. what's so bad about being late. I mean, your ALWAYS late for class, what's so bad about being late for your date?  
roxasobsessed: this isn't just a date, demyx. this is a date with ROXAS. it has to be perfect! I've been planning it for three months!!! why did I have to run out of dye TODAY?!?!?!  
DavidBowieisgod: ok ok ok. I'll buy you your damn hair dye. where do you get it anyway?  
roxasobsessed: marluxia's hair salon. say it's for me.   
DavidBowieisgod: will do.  
                 have fun on your date. NO SEX…!  
roxasobsessed: if there's even a date to HAVE fun on. D:  
DavidBowieisgod: axel, I'm in my car on the way to marluxia's. REMAIN CALM!  
roxasobsessed: thank you dem! I love you!  
DavidBowieisgod: I thought you loved roxas…  
roxasobsessed: nope. I'm obsessed with him, silly. X3  
DavidBowieisgod: *sigh* your hopeless… adios!  
roxasobsessed: ROXAS IS HOT!!!  
DavidBowieisgod: axel, your insane.  
roxasobsessed: yeah I'm crazy for this boy  
                I'm crazy for this boy  
DavidBowieisgod: grr. I don't like you. GOODBYE.  
roxasobsessed: GOODBYE to you too.

DavidBowieisgod: hello axel!  
I COME BARING HAIR DYE!!!  
roxasobsessed: you are a LIFE-SAVER! gimme gimme gimme!!!  
DavidBowieisgod: only after you swear on David Bowie that you will NOT have sex with roxas on your date.  
roxasobsessed: yeah yeah, whatever.  
just give me the damn dye.  
DavidBowieisgod: promise me or I'll tell roxas about the shrine you have to him in your closet.  
roxasobsessed: O_O  
HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT?!?!?!?  
DavidBowieisgod: axel, you've told me almost everything about your roxas obsession since it started.  
roxasobsessed: oh.  
DavidBowieisgod: do you promise???  
roxasobsessed: FINE.  
I really hate you, btw.  
DavidBowieisgod: I know axel.  
  
pinkflowergod: DAMN AXEL!  
la-di-frikkin-da: care to elaborate???  
pinkflowergod: I have burns in places I didn't know existed because I asked roxas if he and I could work on the science project together.  
la-di-frikkin-da: well that was stupid.  
pinkflowergod: is it my fault I didn't know axel was STALKING roxas???  
la-di-frikkin-da: yeah.  
it's actually pretty obvious. I mean, everytime I see roxas, axel's lurking in the shadows.  
kinda creepy, actually.  
pinkflowergod: whoa.  
did I read that right?  
LARXENE finds something creepy???  
la-di-frikkin-da: what? axel doesn't act like that normally!  
pinkflowergod: -_-  
la-di-frikkin-da: well, he's never acted that way towards a HUMAN before.  
fire doesn't count.  
pinkflowergod: mm.  
so do you think that roxas will ever realize that axel's been stalking him for months???  
la-di-frikkin-da: yeah. eventually. roxas isn't that stupid.  
pinkflowergod: hm. I'd dissagree but I know that somehow axel would find this and then kill me for it…  
la-di-frikkin-da: haha! yeah, he probably would somehow!  
*totallynotemo has entered the chat*  
totallynotemo: you're not going to believe this, but axel and roxas are on a date as we type.  
la-di-frikkin-da: hey, midget man's here!  
pinkflowergod: hi zexion.  
and, are you sure about that???  
totallynotemo: yes. I just saw the two enter into an italian resturant.  
la-di-frikkin-da: the chances of that happening are non-existant.  
totallynotemo: I took a picture with my phone. here's your proof:  
LINK  
pinkflowergod: OMG it really is them!  
how the hell did axel get roxas to say yes???  
la-di-frikkin-da: hell if I know. go ask demyx or someone.   
totallynotemo: why demyx?  
la-di-frikkin-da: uh, cuz dem and ax have known each other since they were like three or something.  
pinkflowergod: I heard that they were born in the same hospital. they do have the same birthday, you know.  
la-di-frikkin-da: marly, that's a little strange that you know this.  
pinkflowergod: RUMOR larxene.  
la-di-frikkin-da: oh.  
*la-di-frikkin-da has left the chat*  
totallynotemo: well then. I've got to go.   
pinkflowergod: why?  
totallynotemo: I'm going to follow roxas and his stalker on their date.  
pinkflowergod: if you see them kiss, throw a condom at them, scream "be safe" and run off.  
totallynotemo: no.  
that's something only you would do.  
pinkflowergod: or sora/riku. I can see them doing that.  
totallynotemo: are they dating yet???  
pinkflowergod: no.  
totallynotemo: sigh.  
  
seasaltluver13: namine? plz tell me you're here!  
innocentartgirl: I am. what's up?  
seasaltluver13: axel and I went on a date today…  
innocentartgirl: I heard.  
what happened?  
seasaltluver13: well it was going fine until the concert. everyone was having fun and stuff, and then some other kid decided to get some alcohol…  
innocentartgirl: oh god.  
seasaltluver13: and axel kinda got drunk…  
innocentartgirl: roxas, did he do anything to you?  
seasaltluver13: well, no, not exactly.  
he just started acting weird and sexual and stuff and it was kind of creeping me out…  
innocentartgirl: hmm…  
seasaltluver13: well, at first it was weird, and then I started to enjoy it a bit. I mean, he wasn't groping me or anything gross like that but he was reeeally close to me and I think that he licked me once…  
namine???  
innocentartgirl: THAT. IS. SO. FUCKING. HOT!!!  
seasaltluver13: and I thought axel needed help…  
what's wrong with you???  
innocentartgirl: did you guys kiss or anything???  
seasaltluver13: well, yeah…  
innocentartgirl: before or after axel was drunk?  
seasaltluver13: both.  
when he was drunk he shoved his tongue into my mouth. is that normal, or was that just because he was drunk??  
innocentartgirl: yes that's normal!  
I've got to go now! bye rox!!!!  
  
innocentartgirl: LARXENE GUESS WHAT?!?!?  
la-di-frikkin-da: what.  
innocentartgirl: ok, so you know that axel and roxas went on a date, right???  
la-di-frikkin-da: yeah…?  
innocentartgirl: so apperently they went to a concert and then axel got drunk and shoved his tongue into roxas's mouth! and from what roxas told me, he actually enjoyed it!!!  
la-di-frikkin-da: are you serious????  
innocentartgirl: if I was demyx I'd be swearing on david bowie's life! that's how serious I am!!!  
la-di-frikkin-da: I've gotta tell marly. he'll LOVE this!  
  
la-di-frikkin-da: hey marly guess what I just heard!  
pinkflowergod: what?  
la-di-frikkin-da: axel took roxas to a concert, the two of them got drunk, and axel shoved his tongue down roxas's throat and roxas enjoyed it!  
pinkflowergod: because he was drunk???  
la-di-frikkin-da: no, because roxas then shoved his tongue into AXEL'S mouth!  
pinkflowergod: holy shit! I need to tell riku…  
  
pinkflowergod: riku!  
touchmykeyblade: MARLY!!!  
pinkflowergod: where's riku???  
touchmykeyblade: he's taking a shower. I'll tell him what you wanted to tell him when he's done.  
pinkflowergod: ok.  
roxas and axel went on a date. axel took roxas to a concert at a rave, the two got drunk, and had some tongue action.  
touchmykeyblade: O.o  
why was roxas on a date with axel? he told me that he thought axel was kind of weird.  
pinkflowergod: axel probably drugged him or something. who knows.  
touchmykeyblade: oh.  
bye marly!!!  
  
touchmykeyblade: RIKU RIKU RIKU RIKU!!!! GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT?!?!?  
coolerthansora: what?  
touchmykeyblade: first of all, you really need to change your name.  
and marly told me to tell you what happened on axel and roxas's date.  
coolerthansora: axel and roxas went on a date?!?!? O.o  
touchmykeyblade: yeah. axel shot roxas with a tranquilizer, put him in the back of his car, and drove off to a rave. by then roxas was awake again, so axel got something for them to drink. the two of them got drunk, axel shoved his tongue down roxas's throat, and according to marly, there was some hip grindation going on between the two of them.  
coolerthansora: holy fuck.  
I'm telling zexion. he needs to know.  
touchmykeyblade: ok. bye riku!  
  
keybladetoucher: zexion you are not going to believe this!  
totallynotemo: who is this?  
keybladetoucher: riku.  
totallynotemo: okay then  
so what happened that is esential for my survival?  
keybladetoucher: axel took roxas to a rave, where they both got drunk and started making out. things started getting preeety heavy (if you know what I mean) and the owner kicked them out. axel took roxas to the back of his car and proceded to fuck the living daylights out of roxas.  
totallynotemo: now I'm really glad I didn't follow them…  
do you think demyx knows about this???   
keybladetoucher: no, but I think you should tell him…  
  
totallynotemo: hey demyx, did you hear about what happened on axel and roxas's date?  
DavidBowieisgod: no… what happened???  
totallynotemo: riku told me that axel took roxas to a rave, the two got drunk, and then had sex in the back of axel's car.  
DavidBowieisgod: I AM GOING TO MURDER HIM!!! I MADE HIM SWEAR THAT HE WOULDN'T HAVE SEX WITH ROXAS AND THEN HE DOES!!! DAMN BASTARD!  
totallynotemo: uh, demyx, are you okay???  
DavidBowieisgod: yeah, I just need to calm down a bit… hehe…  
laterz zexy!!!  
totallynotemo: don't call me that.  
  
DavidBowieisgod: AXEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
roxasobsessed: yussss~?  
DavidBowieisgod: why did you have sex with roxas when I specifically told you NOT to?????  
roxasobsessed: I don't think I did…  
but I should have… roxas is extremely hot, and a great kisser… I wonder what he's like in bed…  
DavidBowieisgod: you already know, don't you…?  
roxasobsessed: only in my dreams, demmy.  
god roxas is hot.  
DavidBowieisgod: ARE YOU DRUNK?!?!?  
roxasobsessed: drunk on the sexiness known as roxy… :3  
DavidBowieisgod: I'll take that as a yes…  
I'm gonna go talk to roxas now…  
roxasobsessed: TELL HIM I WANT HIM IN BED MOANING MY NAME!!!!  
  
DavidBowieisgod: roxas?  
seasaltluver13: hey dem. what's up?  
DavidBowieisgod: how'd your date with axel go?  
seasaltluver13: great!   
DavidBowieisgod: oh my David Bowie…  
what happened?  
seasaltluver13: we went to my favorite resturant, and then to a concert for a band I didn't really know well. I did like their music though… axel ended up getting drunk, and we kissed and he stuck his tongue in my mouth.  
namine says that's ok. is it??  
DavidBowieisgod: that's completely different from what zexion told me… he said you guys had sex.  
seasaltluver13: WE DIDN'T!!!!! I SWEAR!!!!  
DavidBowieisgod: I believe you…  
seasaltluver13: okay.  
DavidBowieisgod: I'm going to sleep. see you tomorrow!  
seasaltluver13: WAIT!  
before you go, did you talk to axel recently? like, since he's been drunk?  
DavidBowieisgod: yes…?  
seasaltluver: did he say anything about me???  
DavidBowieisgod: the only thing he talked about was you.  
seasaltluver13: what did he say??  
DavidBowieisgod: roxas, he was drunk. he didn't make any sense.  
seasaltluver13: does he think I'm a good kisser???  
DavidBowieisgod: roxas, he wants to do so much more than kiss you… yes. axel thinks you're the best kisser ever.  
seasaltluver13: thanx demyx. night.  
  
keybladetoucher: marluxia, how is it that you're straight and axel is completely gay?  
pinkflowergod: why do you ask?  
keybladetoucher: well, you have pink hair, love flowers, say OMG and other stuff like that.  
axel looks like some punk rockstar, has no self control what so ever, and has thousands of fangirls following him around asking to have his babies.  
pinkflowergod: except all he wants is to have roxas's babies.  
keybladetoucher: oh god marluxia, that's just disturbing.  
and true. that's why it's so disturbing.  
pinkflowergod: I was going to say that. D:<  
*roxasobsessed has entered the chat*  
roxasobsessed: fucking hangover.  
keybladetoucher: so… how was your night with roxy??? >:3  
roxasobsessed: don't wanna talk about it…  
pinkflowergod: feeling a little… regret?  
roxasobsessed: I got smashed, probably said some really stupid things, and now roxas probably thinks I'm a complete pervert… and now I have the worst hangover of the century.  
pinkflowergod: coffee helps.  
roxasobsessed: thanks, but I don't think anything'll fix what roxas thinks about me now…  
keybladetoucher: well, maybe you shouldn't have had sex.  
pinkflowergod: wait, they had sex?!? when did this happen??  
roxasobsessed: oh fuck. how drunk was I? demyx is going to KILL me now!  
damn, now how am I going to explain this to roxas. saying he's not avoiding me. I feel like pure shit right now, you know that, right?  
pinkflowergod: I didn't hear that you guys had sex…  
roxasobsessed: doesn't mean we didn't either.  
keybladetoucher: well, that's what sora told me. he said that YOU told him to tell me, marluxia.  
pinkflowergod: I said and heard nothing about sex!  
keybladetoucher: well then I guess sora just made it up. sounds like something he would do, anyways. don't worry about it, ax.  
roxasobsessed: yeah, but I still was drunk and I still don't know what I did.  
pinkflowergod: well then ask roxas. DUH.  
roxasobsessed: I guess…  
*roxasobsessed has left the chat*  
keybladetoucher: wow. he seemed really upset.  
pinkflowergod: axel had been planning that date since he first started liking roxas. I guess he wanted it to be perfect and it wasn't.  
  
roxasobsessed: roxas???  
seasaltluver13: hey axel!   
roxasobsessed: um… about yesterday… did I do anything… weird?  
seasaltluver13: while you were drunk, not really.   
well… unless…   
roxasobsessed: unless what?  
seasaltluver13: namine SAID it was normal but I don't know…  
roxasobsessed: what did namine say was normal????  
seasaltluver13: you sticking your tongue in my mouth while we were kissing.  
roxasobsessed: 0.0 *dies inside*  
i… i… i…  
seasaltluver13: axel, are you okay??  
roxasobsessed: I'm great…!  
I love you roxy but I've got to go. I'll be back in a couple minutes!  
seasaltluver13: alright. later  
  
roxasobsessed: DEMYX!!!  
DavidBowieisgod: what now axel?  
roxasobsessed: I'm in love!!!  
DavidBowieisgod: no really. |:/  
roxasobsessed: I'm in love with the most adorable looking blonde boy on the planet!!!  
DavidBowieisgod: is this blonde's name roxas by chance?  
roxasobsessed: YES! I love him! I love love love LOVE my little roxy!!!  
DavidBowieisgod: yeah… therapy. you need it.  
roxasobsessed: no, all I need is my roxy!   
DavidBowieisgod: do you want me to get everyone else on so that you can make your little obsession with roxas public?  
roxasobsessed: yes plz!  
*totallynotemo has entered the chat*  
*la-di-frikkin-da has entered the chat*  
*innocentartgirl has entered the chat*  
la-di-frikkin-da: ok, so why did you make me wake up early?  
totallynotemo: larxene, it's 11:45. that's not early…  
la-di-frikkin-da: stfu.  
innocentartgirl: so demy, what's up?  
DavidBowieisgod: axel has something to say to you all…  
roxasobsessed: I'M IN LOVE!  
la-di-frikkin-da: read my name, ax.  
la-di-frikkin-da.  
totallynotemo: I'm pretty sure I know who it is, but tell us anyway, axel.  
roxasobsessed: ya know, I actually expected those responses from you guys.  
I'm in love with ROXAS!  
innocentartgirl: OMG YOU GUYS ARE SO CUTE TOGETHER!!! I knew it!!!  
roxasobsessed: yes, I know we are! and roxas is adorable!  
innocentartgirl: roxas is such a uke and you are so totally seme! you guys are going to get married, have ten kids, and live in a victorian mansion in Italy!!!  
roxasobsessed: I only want two kids tho. a blondie and a red-head. and definite yes for the whole Italy idea. I've always wanted to go there and roxas loves Italian food.  
innocentartgirl: ooh… and the red-head should be a little girl with really pretty big blue eyes, but she's not extremely feminine, and she'll grow up and work as a ninja!  
roxasobsessed: red-head gets my hair and roxy's eyes, and blondie should have roxy hair and my eyes…  
innocentartgirl: and they should both have cute little upside-down teardrops under their eyes like you do!  
roxasobsessed: yes!!  
wait, what about their names???  
innocentartgirl: I don't know. I'm not good with names. ask roxas, seeing as he's their father anyway…  
totallynotemo: as entertaining as this is, I'm beginning to fear for what is left of axel's sanity.  
DavidBowieisgod: agreed.  
innocentartgirl: demy, you agree with EVERYTHING zexion says…  
OMG you guys should get married too!!!  
*totallynotemo has left the chat*  
la-di-frikkin-da: hehheh…  
he's in denial.  
roxasobsessed: and I find it slightly amusing that demyx didn't even bother denying what namine said. I think demmy likes sexy zexy…  
la-di-frikkin-da: plz tell me that was a typo.  
you did NOT put sexy and zexion in the same sentence. that's just wrong.  
innocentartgirl: hmmm… I don't really know what to do about them tho.  
I mean, they are polar opposites! they have nothing in common! at least both axel and roxas like Italian stuff and music, zexion loves quiet and demyx can't stand silence!  
roxasobsessed: awkward silences cause gay babies.  
la-di-frikkin-da: must have been an extremely awkward one when you were born, ax.  
cuz you are so gay you've probably never even seen a girl in a bathing suit.  
roxasobsessed: so… you and namine aren't girls then??? >:3  
DavidBowieisgod: BURN!  
roxasobsessed: burn? what are we burning???  
DavidBowieisgod: *headdesk*  
la-di-frikkin-da: heeeey, demyx! been thinking about you and zexy's future life? are you going to be the one wearing the dress at the wedding or are you going to force poor zexy into one?  
DavidBowieisgod: I don't like zexion, larxene.  
innocentartgirl: yes, you do. don't deny it.  
and axel, speaking of weddings… who's wearing the dress, you or roxas?  
roxasobsessed: who do you think?  
innocentartgirl: well… you have the body for it… but I can't see you cross-dressing…  
so… roxas?  
roxasobsessed: HELL YEAH!  
la-di-frikkin-da: okay, so what would happen if two GIRLS got married namine, queen of everything homosexual?  
innocentartgirl: I like that name…  
and the stronger of the two girls would be the one in the tux.  
la-di-frikkin-da: seriously, tho, why can't they either both wear tux's or both wear dresses?  
DavidBowieisgod: why do you care, larxene? is there something that you're not telling us? like maybe you like girls???  
la-di-frikkin-da: and you want to hear zexion moaning your name, don't you demmy???  
roxasobsessed: *backs up* I want nothing to do with this…  
innocentartgirl: agreed.  
*touchmykeyblade has entered the chat*  
touchmykeyblade: hey, I got demyx's email. what's going on???  
innocentartgirl: well, you're kind of late so I'll try to fill you in…  
la-di-frikkin-da: demyx wants to get into zexion's pants!  
DavidBowieisgod: I DO NOT!  
and larxene likes girls. she's not straight, sora! it's a lie!!!  
roxasobsessed: the cake is a lie. XP  
touchmykeyblade: I'm suddenly sorry I asked…  
innocentartgirl: don't be.  
anyway, axel has pronounced his love for roxas, and axel and I have planned out everything in their future except for the names of their children. axel and roxas are going to get married, move into a victorian mansion in Italy, and have two kids: a blondie with green eyes, and a red-head with blue eyes. both kids are going to have replicas of axel's tattoo-thingies.  
roxasobsessed: and in the wedding, roxas is wearing a dress.  
after that, larxene asked what would happen in a girl wedding, namine explained, and demyx accused larxene of liking girls and larxene and I both agree that demyx really wants to get into zexion's pants.  
innocentartgirl: I think so too. about the zex-dem part.  
touchmykeyblade: I can see zexion and demyx together. definitely axel and roxas…  
DavidBowieisgod: what about you and riku, sora??? when are you guys going to start going out???  
la-di-frikkin-da: got 'em.  
touchmykeyblade: riku is my best friend. NOTHING ELSE.  
la-di-frikkin-da: DENIAL!!!  
innocentartgirl: I find it hilarious that larxene jumps from one gay pairing to another… quite entertaining…  
roxasobsessed: haha. yeah. I think demyx purposely asked sora about him and riku so his own torture would end…  
innocentartgirl: I think you might be right…  
DavidBowieisgod: actually, I just wanted to know…  
roxasobsessed: LIES!  
*DavidBowieisgod has left the chat*  
roxasobsessed: guess he can't handle the truth…  
la-di-frikkin-da: 'parently…  
touchmykeyblade: I'm out, later!  
*touchmykeyblade has left the chat*  
innocentartgirl: who's left???  
la-di-frikkin-da: me and axel.  
oh great, I'm stuck listening to you guys plan out axel and roxas's life like a couple of fangirls.  
what fun.  
roxasobsessed: you could always leave…  
innocentartgirl: yeah, we'd actually prefer it if you left us alone to plot on the future…  
la-di-frikkin-da: but shouldn't somebody stay to make sure you two don't completely lose your heads over axel and roxas's love life.  
cuz that's pretty likely knowing who's conjuring ideas…  
innocentartgirl: and who exactly might that be?  
la-di-frikkin-da: well, there's axel, who if you say "fire" or "burn" or "roxas" you get his full attention, has been stalking roxas for months, and has planned their future more than he has planned his own life.  
and then there's you. anything gay, or slightly resembling gayness, gets you off on a spiel about how perfect they are for each other and how cute they look together.  
and you both need serious therapy.  
roxasobsessed: says the woman who drinks blood, burns babies, and sleeps in a coffin.  
la-di-frikkin-da: I don't drink blood or burn babies. but I do purposely run over animals that get in the road. >  
innocentartgirl: that's evil.  
la-di-frikkin-da: no, it's fun.  
innocentartgirl: EVIL!  
la-di-frikkin-da: FUN!  
*roxasobsessed has left the chat*  
la-di-frikkin-da: I bet he left to go worship roxas.  
innocentartgirl: or go to roxas's house.  
he knows where he lives.  
la-di-frikkin-da: I know where marluxia lives… that doesn't mean I'm a stalker.  
innocentartgirl: axel is tho. and it's extremely hot.  
la-di-frikkin-da: I'm starting to think that demyx is right about you: therapy will help…


End file.
